Smile Always

Just Some V-Day Lovin'!

2012-02-14T19:22:00.000-08:00

Today was probably one of the most unique Valentine's Days I have ever experienced. First off, no valentine. No hot date. WHICH, is NORMAL for myself. Yes. That part is not unique. Moving along. Today was great because for the most part of the day I was with Latter-Day Voices singing to the high school kids at the Skyview High Seminary. We sang and put on a program for each of their 5 periods. It was a long day, seeing as I started with my morning institute student council meeting bright and early at 6;30am! We did have toaster strudels for breakfast at the meeting (And I had a Boston creme pie one. Divine.) So all was well.

The seminary visit was fabulous though. I always love going despite how tiring it is. I wish with all my heart we could have had some program like that in high school. Maybe I wouldn't have struggled so badly. Oh well, everything has a reason. I just love doing this though because I LOVE the youth. Love. I would work with teenagers for the rest of my life if I could. They are so impressionable, and I love trying to be an influence for good in their lives. (Plus Troy Bolton was at the seminary the last period. No Joke. Cute Boy wearing a Wildcats shirt with the number 14. It was him).

After the seminary, my roommates and I celebrated our beloved roommate Emma's birthday :) Kendra decorated the strawberry shortcake, Jackie lit candles, and I played happy birthday on the old guitar. It was a fabulous few minutes had by all. Rah Rah!

Then I went to the women's group session at CAPSA. I'm observing these sessions for my thesis. What an interesting place to be on Valentine's- with a group of ladies who have been victims of domestic violence. It was such a great group tonight though. Every time I go my eyes are opened just a little more to what is really happening in the world. It's scary. However, it also strengthens my hope in the powerful impact that I could have, and also hope in that there IS good in this world! We enjoyed some chocolate and heart-shaped cookies. And talked about fairy tales and what real love looks like. It was a great session.

I should be studying now, and I will get right on that as soon as I push publish. When Kendra gets off work in a few minutes my roommates and I will celebrate the ending of Valentine's Day with a little Chinese take-out. At least I still have some hot valentines :)

I love every single person in my life that has made me happy, enabled me to serve, given me opportunity to teach as well as be taught, believed in me, loved me, and supports me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my family, my EFY ladies, my BBY ladies, or the wonderful friends that continue to love me despite my current status of non-sociability. I love my Savior. I love my Heavenly Father. And I love that each day I get the chance to start over, do better, and prove to myself that I can do hard things.

My little life is in great need of some re-evaluation or I will never make it to May 5th, 2012 alive and sane. I can do it though. And I can do it while smiling. I have to! :)

Merry, Happy, Love, Be loved, and share love day.

Neat :)

2012-01-14T17:43:00.000-08:00

Last night was so fun! These awesome guys came to perform for our institute opening social:

Ryan Shupe and the RubberBand

We had over 1300 people in attendance, and it was such a fun concert :) Afterwards, as we were helping clean up I had a really neat experience. Here's how it all went down: Pretty lengthy..

I am on take down duty up by the stage and Ryan Shupe is standing on the stage in front of me watching me take a mic stand down as he puts his violin away.

Me: "Hey thanks again for coming, that was so fun!"

Ryan: "Thanks for letting us come! Are you on the student council?" (noticing my fancy polo)

Me: "Yeah I'm actually the music council president"

Ryan: "Oh cool, so you are the one responsible for getting us here?!"

Me: "Well.. actually no.. that was Kelby's idea. But I supported it 100%!"

Ryan: "Oh I see, supported the decision..."

Me: "No really I was excited for you guys to come! It really was so much fun!"

Ryan: "Haha well thank you, we had a lot of fun"

A few minutes pass, more stuff gets cleaned up and put away...

Ryan passes me on his way out and stops to chat for a second more:

Me: "Hey thanks again!"

Ryan: something to the extent of "our pleasure" then,

"Yeah we'd be happy to come again! Of course that is, if you would support us coming again.. "

Me: "Hey now, I'm a musician myself, so of course I would support it! haha"

Ryan: "Oh really, what do you play?"

now my spiel...

Me: "Piano, guitar, drums and I sing."

Ryan: "You play the drums?! Are you any good?!"

Me: "Yeah I'm okay.."

Ryan: "Well sweet, you'll have to show Nate (their drummer) a thing or two! And singer?"

Me: "Yeah, I write my own music too."

Ryan: "No way, so can I find you online? What is your name?"

Me: "Well my name is Rebecca Tanner, but I have my music under RebeccaMarieMusic online. or..

Kelby walking up... "And she has recorded a CD of her own too!" (haha thanks Kelby)

Me: "Haha or yes, I have a CD too."

Ryan: "Nice, I will have to look you up then!"

Me: "Well I actually have a CD here right now and I'd be happy to give it to you if you want"

Ryan: "Um.. yes! Go get it!"

So I run to get it in my purse, grateful that I thought to put one in there tonight just in case...

I find him talking to some of the other institute teachers on his way out.

Me: "well there you go!"

Ryan: "Awesome. So who did you record with?"

Me: "Like what company?"

Ryan: "No like what other artists played the music on your album?"

Me: "Oh.. I did it all.."

Ryan: "You did everything?! Piano, guitar, singing?"

Me: "Yep."

Ryan: "Well I'm very impressed! I'm excited to listen to it! Thank you"

Me: "Well thank you"

(Brother White is standing there, and interjects some very nice comments about my talents and performing here at the institute... )

Ryan: "Well next time we are in Logan we will have to have you sing for us!"

Me (in a little bit of shock at this point): "Yeah that would be awesome!"

Then we have some parting comments and I think he leaves....

However, I find him one more time trying to get out of the confusing building,

Ryan: "Hey Rebecca Marie!"

Me: "Ha that's me!"

Ryan: "Well I'm excited to listen to your CD!"

Me: "You'll have to let me know what you think!"

Ryan: "Oh I will!"

And then that was the final of our short encounters that evening.

But cool right??

Who would have thought?

My life is so cool sometimes.

Haha and the funny part is the night before my mom told me to take a CD to the concert just in case...

She is amazing. Thanks mom :)

Bucket List Before I Leave Logan.

2012-01-14T16:12:00.000-08:00

This being my final semester, I am saddened to say that there are some things specific to Logan, Utah that I have never participated in during my 4.5 years of being here. The deadline for this on-going adventure is May 5th, graduation day. Anyone is invited (and would be much appreciated) to help me accomplish the following:

1. "Clean the Sink" @ Angie's.
- While I find sharing germs with others quite disgusting (Although I have come a long way over the years, I will always be a slight germaphobe) I will put aside my habits and distaste for this one moment.

2. Become a True Aggie
- Again, it is extremely out of my nature to kiss any boy that I am not "officially dating". However, if May 5, 2012 comes and I graduate from Utah State University without ever having kissed a boy on top of the A, I will be sad for eternity. SO, any takers that are not total creeps are welcome to help on this one :) haha oh dear.

3. I need to go to a basketball game!
- Let's be real, I HAVE already been to many games. Why else would I love them so much?! However, I have not been to one yet this season, and it is hurting my heart. I need to go and cheer my team on for free. I love me some Aggie pride. Somebody come with me and be my friend please :)

4. Go to the Crepery
- I hear this is just a wonderful experience for your tummy, and I would also like to enjoy in the pleasure :)

5. Willow Park Zoo Adventure
- This one is random.. haha but I just have a desire to visit our little not-so-great zoo!

6. Hike to the Wind Caves
- This one will have to be towards the end of the semester when it's not frigid outside, but I would really love to do this!

7. Sledding down Old Main Hill
- So it's needs to snow again for this to happen!!

These are the tops items, and I'm sure I will be adding to it. However, if you notice, all of these would be extremely lonely and boring (and some impossible) if I participated in them by myself. Therefore, friends: please save me occasionally from a world full of isolation and studying and let us have an adventure :)

Party like it's 2-0-1-2!

2012-01-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas break, and the festivities have been taking place! Last week we had many a family parties and I also got to go up to the SLC to visit one of my best friends Angela. She works in the senator's office- no big deal. HA. I had to go through security and wear a visitor's sticker just to see her beautiful face. It was fabulous though :) Love her. A lot. Christmas Eve we had the whole family together one last time before Nathan and McKenna make their way to China for a year to teach English. Our annual gingerbread house making extravaganza was spectacular!

The family and I are now in Ohio to visit and help take care of my aunt Sharon. We celebrated New Year's Eve last night by seeing the new movie "New Year's Eve" (Probably one of the funniest movies I have ever seen!!Part of that may have been because of Zac Efron's appearance..) and celebrating with a mini dance party in my aunt's house at midnight :)

The only thing missing was am attractive boy to kiss... ha.. someday.

Well kids, here's to 2012 and new adventures!!

Give. Yourself.

2012-01-01T12:02:00.000-08:00

It's been a very long while.. but! I'm back on this thing because let's be honest, I have missed it. Christmas break is finally upon us! I can't believe that I am only a semester away from graduating from college. Weird. But I am more than ready. I have a terrible case of senioritis, being this is my fifth year in Logan, UT. I will miss it most definitely, but I have finally come to terms with the fact that I do have to grow up someday. Until that moment happens though, I will just continue live my adventurous life one day at a time!

Something noteworthy- I had to quit my job that I loved so dearly. I have been working for the past few months at a residential eating disorder facility for adolescent girls. I was so grateful to get the position because it became my dream job about a year ago after I discovered how much I love working with teenage girls. Long hours, sassy girls, hard days, tears, having to sass in return, but I loved it. I loved watching the change happen. I loved seeing light in these girl's eyes every now and then. I loved seeing recovery. I loved singing to them. But circumstances change, and priorities take place. Last Saturday (Christmas Eve) was my last day. I feared telling my girls because I knew they would not be happy. My girls called my a traitor and asked why I had to leave them. I was not really doing it by choice, but I had really no other option because of outside events with family and school.It was hard, but I always know when I make the right decision about something because I feel at peace. And peace is the one feeling that Satan cannot imitate. Someday they will leave to. Healthy. That is my only wish for them. Who knows if I did anything in the few months I was there to help in their process, but part of me likes to think I did. Just by smiling, sharing encouraging words, singing to them, helping them take their minds off the damaging thoughts inside. I definitely left with some great memories: Justin Bieber Christmas. Zumba with beaded skirts. A rambunctious hockey game. Writing songs. Sharing my songs. Singing lullabies. Movies. Movies. Coloring. I'm going on a trip... Sharing the words "I'm proud of you", And hearing the words "Thank You". I wrote one of my girls a song, because she asked and I promised. I gave her the lyrics on my last day, and regret that I forgot my guitar. I watched her read the lyrics as I walked up the stairs for the last time. I looked down to see her beautiful face with an expression of' amazement that I actually wrote the song, but also with a look in her eyes saying 'thank you'. The song is entitled "Setting Myself Free" and she will hear it eventually. When she finally sets herself free.

(This may get cheesy or whatever, but this is the way I work!) As I drove the 3 hours home that night, I reflected on those last few seconds after I gave her the lyrics, and her expression as I left. We were all not too excited about my leaving. But I learned something that day. I've learned it before, but it finally set in stone in that moment. The only thing I truly have that I can give to another with perfect love, is myself. I put my heart and soul into every song that I write. By writing a song for someone, I am giving them a piece of me. It is the only gift I know how to give that will live between them and myself forever. I learned finally that God gave us talents to share. Share a bit of ourselves with others. The most apparent of my gifts are my musical talents. I will share my music forever. However, I will share it in a way that connects my soul to others. I will share in a way that when I give, the receiver knows they are receiving the one thing I can truly give- a part of my soul. Perfect love.

The Christmas season I am grateful that I have had opportunities to share my gifts with my family. I have become the designated piano player for our Tanner family Christmas party sing-along. It was so much fun to watch my grandma out of the corner of my eye giving my cousins actions to parts of Christmas songs we didn't know existed! My family also got to participate in our home ward choir for the Christmas program Christmas morning. We made up a third of the choir :) haha It is experiences like these, in which I am able to give of myself, that I am truly grateful for.

School will begin again soon. 18 credits, senior thesis, anatomy, music therapy practicum, and physiological psychology await. But I am excited. I am going to end this undergraduate thing with a bang. I'm determined to. I still have lots of hopes and dreams! My CD is done and on the market! People are buying and saying they love it :) One day a handsome young man will sweep me off my feet, with whom I will be able to feel that all things are possible! And one day, I will save a life with my music.

For right now, I will continue to live the life that I have been so graciously given. I will remember to smile always, and give the greatest gift I have to give. Myself.

:)

To you.

2011-10-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

(I fell asleep last night before I could press post haha it was only 2am. nbd.)

I'm feeling a lot of different things right now, so we are just going to do some anonymous shout outs because those are always fun :)

To you. Thank you for thinking of me tonight even though our plans didn't match up. It's always nice to be thought of. And I love you. I wish I could spend more time with you.

To you. Thank you for taking an interest in my life, and following up with me. Even if is right now in the wee hours of the morning. I love you soo much and couldn't be more grateful for your friendship.

To you. I'm really glad I got to see your face tonight. We WILL become better friends very soon. Mostly just because I want to be your friend so badly. If you ask why, I have my reasons. But seriously. I hope I don't bug you.. Play date coming very soon.

To you and you. Seriously, why were we not friends before now? I will stir chili with you any day. You both made my night tonight. Thank you.

To you. Oh goodness. I just love catching up. I love that you understand and that we think the same way. I appreciate you mucho. Do something again very soon? Yes please.

To you. I miss you all. I'm coming home soon.

Here's to you.

A New Leaf.

2011-10-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

“Change is the essence of life.

Be willing to surrender what you are

for what you could become."

A lot sure has happened since the last year of my undergraduate schooling began. It is weird that I am finally a true senior in college. It is weird that I only have 7 months left as a student at Utah State University. While thinking about the future scares me half to death, I also find myself getting really excited about all the possibilities and opportunities that await!

This semester is very different for a lot of reasons:

- I only have one class. It is a science depth class (I'm behind on generals) and I rarely have homework. This is all a very new concept to me..

- I have a real life job! Not that accompanying and teaching piano are not real jobs, but I actually have a boss, get a paycheck, and I have to ask for time off. Hello real life. Not to mention, I love it! It's a difficult line to work in, but so rewarding. I get sassed, looked up and down, and stared at, but somehow I still love it. The healing and recovery process is probably one of the greatest journeys to witness, and I get a front row seat.

- I'm working on my senior thesis. I have a wonderful opportunity to participate in research that potentially become popular nationwide. I just have to get my song writing skills in check as I'll be writing a song a week for victims of domestic violence. It has been a difficult training to sit through in learning all about what these people have gone through, but it has been very eye opening. I'm excited to have the challenge to write quickly and with quality.

- I'm on the music council at the institute again. I'm so grateful I'm being entrusted with the call to serve, lead, and rescue yet again.

- The majority of LDV is new this year. I was very apprehensive at first. A lot of my close friends did not come back this year due to marriage, times up, or busy schedules. However, after our retreat weekend, I'm stoked as all get out. There are so many people I want to get to know and become friends with its ridiculous! The only hard part is getting over my own fears of talking to people. It's true, it paralyzes. But I've gotten SO much better over the years, and mostly I just fake myself into believing I'm brave and outgoing until I actually am. I'm coming along quite nicely from where I started, if I do say so myself :)

I'm still busy me, however it's a different kind of busy. My long hours at work and very early meetings make me tired a lot. I still find myself procrastinating homework (Even though I have only one freaking class), and I have to find time to think and really ponder about the songs I'm writing for my thesis. But this is me. Busy. I have to be doing lots of things or I feel like I'm just wasting my life away.

On another note, God is constantly readjusting the path I keep drawing for myself. Being me, I just go along with it because I know that He sees everything. Hard things have happened, but I'm okay. I was reminded many times this week that I should never settle for less than what I deserve. What do I deserve then? I believe I deserve someone who will accept and support everything I'm involved in, regardless of how high-achieving or ridiculous my activities may be. I deserve to be believed and believed in. I deserve to have dreams of my own, and to be allowed to reach those dreams. I deserve to be understood for how far I really have come. I deserve to be allowed to keep becoming the person I want to and know I can become. I deserve to be seen by others as my Heavenly Father sees me. I believe we all deserve these things.

I am steadily becoming the girl I've always wanted to be. This is a semester of new experiences, new people, and new challenges. But I welcome them all with open arms and will continue to smile. Heck. Optimism is a lot more fun than pessimism!

Pinewood Derby & Spumoni

2011-08-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

Last night was priceless :) I got to be with my new favorite people again, and we had yet another fun-filled adventure! Angela, Johnathon, Dave and I had a wonderfully prepared dinner complete with healthy vegetables, colorful salad, homemade chicken alfredo, too-much-garlic bread (or not-enough-garlic.. depending on who you were asking), and homemade grape/fruit juice. Twas stupendous!

And for dessert?! SPUMONI!! For those who have no idea what this is (like myself).. have no fear. Thanks to our good friend Johnathon (Who is obsessed with wikipedia) we learned that Spumoni is:

A molded Italian ice cream made with layers of different colors and flavors, usually containing candiedfruits and nuts. Typically it is of three flavors, with a fruit/nut layer between them. The ice cream layers are often mixed with whipped cream. Chocolate and pistachio are the typical flavors of the ice cream layers, and the fruit/nut layer often contains cherry bits.

Needless to say, it was quite delicious.

(Even if Angela decided to make a cherry mountain of it instead of finishing it)

"On top of spumoni, all covered in cherries!"

Our next adventure that evening was going to the Riverwoods in Provo and making....

PINEWOOD DERBY CARS!!!

Oh goodness, so much fun! We got to pick which model we wanted. (I chose the GT something..) We then were able to paint them (with the thousands of colors we asked for), put the wheels on, and then finally race them! All of this magic occurred as we listened to the karaoke night happening right next door haha thank you for the entertainment!! I would just like to share a picture of my car below because I am quite proud of the little beauty. It never won a race out of the four competing cars, but it definitely is a winner in my book! What girl can say they made their very own pinewood derby car? That's right. Me. All of those years of being a girl scout are paying off my friends.

It's name is Schnored. I was a little sad when the wheels covered up its name. It's okay. It still knows its identity.

For those confused, "Schnored" is the word we came up with in Disneyland.

The definition:

The state of your feet when they hurt really bad from walking on them all day.

Sentence:

"Man, my feet are really schnored!"

A fantastic evening my friends. I truly love those people. We now go our separate ways as we enter back into the world of school, real life jobs, and the military. I will miss being all together. Come December though, the four of us shall be reunited once again and magic will ensue.

Remembering to smile always my friends :)

EFC Disneyland! Party, party.

2011-08-22T16:24:00.000-07:00

Last week was undoubtedly one of the most exciting and fun adventures of my life!

116 EFY counselors + Disneyland + Beach= pure magic.

SO many funny stories, experiences, and good times had by all. Here are a couple highlights:

- Cheetah Girls Flash Mob Dance in the middle of Disneyland right before the parade. People were filming us, and later asked if we were part of the parade. Nope. haha

- Tower of Terror SO many times! Angela telling me it was her favorite ride each and every time.

- Themed pictures for each ride!

- Dave's shark attack at the beach. ... kidding. But He did get swept away by an extremely large wave, held himself in a crevice of rocks, and emerged with an extremely cut up and bloody arm. I am glad he is alive!

- Fighting the waves at the beach

- World of Color!

- Riding the ferris wheel with a very frightened Angela

- Woodchucks on Splash Mountain

- Tony Romas... worst experience of our entire trip.

- Denny's - we are a little loopy...

- First time on Splash Mountain without a poncho!

- Dancing "We're All In This Together" with the 'Disney Channel Rocks' performers!

- EPIC dance party at Electronica! We had the real performers learning our dances!

- Being told to have a drink before playing a video game "Of Alcohol?!?!"

- Thunder Mountain secret- "Stare at the goat as long as possible! Why? Just trust me!"

- Laughing, playing, smiling, joking, and running around crazy with some of the greatest people in this world.

Words really can't describe how much I love this lady. Why again do you have to live in Salt Lake when I kind of need you in Logan? Do not worry. You will have a bed in my apartment as long as you in return leave your blinds open for me :) haha

It's a Small World adventure! (do you notice my buttons? We all got them for free! Even happy birthday ones!)

Not following rules and taking flash photography in Little Mermaid. Oops...

Pennies in my church. I found Kjarinda at Disneyland. Dreams do come true :)

Beach adventure with the crew! I win for best sunburn.

Game faces for the ferris wheel! Angela was soo not excited...

Beautiful Beach.

It's times like these where I think, I am a lucky girl.

After all, "when you wish upon a star..."

Sledding in the Summer!

2011-08-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

In my attempt to update my blog, I just wanted to share some of my favorite pictures from our family reunion at Snowbird a couple weeks ago. Favorite part of this year was that I actually got to run around and play with my family! Last year I had a boot on my foot so no hikes, swimming, or fun pass for me. But not this year :)

Ryan joined us for some fun!

So grateful that grandpa was able to come up for a couple hours and go to the overlook with us all!

This was where a little song was written. It was written by yours truly on our walk to the overlook as it was raining. I would love to share the lyrics with you:

Drip drip, drop drop....

Rain, rain, rain on my face right now.

Rain, rain, rain. Holy cow.

We are outside, not inside.

We are getting wet, but we will not fret!

It was a hit to say the least!

Our hike to Cecret Lake was another adventure! Grandma forged all of the rivers and we all made it to the lake! This is the essence of my family. We were all trying to be bears. Anna decided to be the seductive bear apparently... haha it makes me laugh every time I look at it :)

THEN! Who would like to go sledding in August?!?! haha Story:

My parents, Ryan, and I all went on the peruvian chair lift up to the top of the mountain. At the top they have cut a tunnel through the mountain to the other side. We went through the tunnel and there was snow still on the mountain. My dad went back in the tunnel and found these random signs. With Ryan right behind him, they ran back out to the slope, sat on the signs and slid down the mountain! I'm gad I went so that I can actually say now that I WENT! I wasn't going to go because I was scared and it was freezing to be in sandals in the snow. But alas, I participated in the grand adventure! This was also sadly the only time this entire trip when my mom didn't have her camera, so it's a good thing I had my phone!

"That was a great game!"

2011-08-21T22:20:00.002-07:00

Summer is almost over... and I have mixed feelings.

I do not want it to end, yet I'm a sucker for school.

This summer was truly amazing. I really don’t know how I got so lucky. To spend seven weeks teaching, testifying, dancing, hoping, feeling the spirit, being exhausted, laughing, crying, smiling, playing, reading, praying, serving, talking, listening, counseling, learning, loving, and living is an experience that will never be replaced. I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to work with my favorite people- youth. I love them like my best friends and little siblings. We definitely had a good time. Check out my last couple of weeks with them J

First I was a counselor at Be The Best You Camp for the fourth year in a row! I’m becoming quite the veteran counselor there.. I love it with all of my heart though, and love my Kim Possible Angelic Agents to death. This was seriously a champion group. Pure fun!

Pretty for prom!

I'm SO happy my little sister Anna could finally come!

It was a blast having her with me that week :)

I love them, and miss them so much.

Then we jumped gears, left the "no boys allowed" camp for one more week of EFY. I had Alex as my co-counselor yet again (such a fun blessing) and we had our little "White As Snow" wildcats!!

It decided to rain on our games night.. Understatement. Monsoon!!

But we made the best of a left over muddy mess!

Maddi. Oh how I love this cute girl. Basically my new adopted little sister.

My other Maddie. Crazy fun girl! This is us during our "The Climb" rock-out duet!! haha insanity.

My pretty ladies :)

My cute boys :) They all sang to me Saturday morning. It was adorable.

Such a fun group of older kids! I definitely went out with the BANG I was hoping for! Probably one of the coolest things about this week was that Alex and I focused so hard on teaching our kids about personal revelation and writing everything down. And you know what? They actually listened and acted! We always saw them writing and so many of my kids told me about receiving revelation that week that they had been waiting for. The gospel is true my friends! I'm SO grateful for personal revelation. Wow, I can't even begin to express my gratitude for that principle and habit in my own life.

Lockdown duty for the last time! (Or as it has been called- Sleep Throwdown!)

This is how we do it- pizza & rootbeer from wednesday, scriptures, ipod, phone, notes, party.

I really can't say enough about what I was able to do this summer. Although I received no sleep and was stressed sometimes, it was so worth it. As the little lost boy in "Hook" says at the end of the movie, "That was a great game!" It truly was.

Dreams Do Come True :)

2011-07-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday... I FINALLY RECORDED MY MUSIC!!!!

I have been waiting SO long to do this, and the day finally came. Oh gosh, I was so nervous, but it was so much fun. My parents were so great to stay all day with me and make sure that everything went smoothly, and it did. We recorded 10 songs, and nine of those will go on my first CD. The other song will be a single sold with my parent's Baptism Bear poem. I had to record all of the instrumental tracks first, then we added the singing. I felt like a rockstar. No lie. At the end we put a little djembe to a couple of the songs and finished the day! Steve Lerud in Saratoga Springs did my recording. What a nice guy. He said that he should have all the mixing done by the end of today and then I can go pick up my CD. I'm so excited:)

I have my Aunt Sharon to thank for this because she was so generous and kind in helping me financially be able to do this. I can't wait to see what the future holds. I know I probably won't ever be famous, but as long as I can get my music out there, I will be happy. As I recorded the vocals for each song, with each specific song I thought of specific people. Singing "Catching Tears" I thought of my girls Madi and Mary- who I sang this to them one night as a lullaby. "Good Enough" I thought of Mardi and Maddie. I wrote the song for Mardi, and this song really meant something to Maddie last week at EFY. This list goes on. I just hope they all like what I have done with the songs :)

It's a little weird for me to have this all happening. I'm not usually one who gets what she wants. To the outside seer that might be the case, but it's not. I want a lot of things in life haha. It's weird because when something I do want to happen happens.. I don't quite know how to react. I'm extremely grateful though. It seems like lately, so many prayers are being answered. (SO many have yet to be answered mind you... but life is good) My music is getting somewhere, I have had the best summer I could ask for, I'm dating the most amazing guy who my family just adores, and I am happy :)

Hey hey, ho ho, EFY!

2011-07-14T07:56:00.001-07:00

The weeks are winding down, and last week was number 5 out of 6 weeks I have this summer! I have met some amazing people and two of my favorite are below-

Oh gosh. The only thing I have to say about this lady is that she is my new favorite person on this planet. Angela has become one of my best friends. She was my BC one week, but basically I think she is just the most amazing person and look up to her a whole gosh darn a lot.

AND- Reason number 23 we are friends~ she is one HECK of an interpretive dancer! I love her.

SO glad Charlie and I are friends! This boy can dance! But literally. Ballroom dance king. Plus, we love check-in duty :) But.. we really do.

Our group this past week was "Smite The Earth" and they were wonderful. This was my first time this summer being in a trio, but it was actally really fun. 32 kids is a lot, but they were so much fun. Plus I had the BEST co-counselors I could have asked for.

Two points with this picture-

A) I love those co-counselors a whole lot! Alyssa and I became great friends and we just love Alex haha He was so interested in setting all of our children up all week (We won't mention that they were all 14 and 15..)

And B) Maddie is my little miracle girl :) All I will say here is that I love this girl to death and that I believe in being led by the spirit. What an amazing experience getting to know this girl.

I just love these cute boys!

And I love these girls! SO much fun to be around and dance with! Plus Allie is freaking talented and needs to sing more. She sang at the variety show and claimed it was her first time singing publicly. I expect great things from her.

Ah, so many wonderful youth this week. I wish I could just sit here and type all the wonderful experiences and stories of how GREAT the youth of this church are. Just know they are. And yes, you run into those who need your help, but that is why I love what I do. It's all about the rescue my friends. Bringing everyone back into the boat.

Stadium Firey!

2011-07-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

My loving mother bought us all tickets to the Stadium of Fire! And let Ryan tag along as well, she is wonderful :) We had fun in the sun listening to little Davy A. and Brad Paisley! Then watched probably one of the best firework shows I've ever seen- it was amazing!! Very fun and enjoyed by all :) See the facebook for our rocking out party video!

Come When? "Come Now"

2011-07-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

I figured that I could update this beautiful thing while on my week off :)

After a wonderful week of my little angel "Be As Wool" children, I had a another fantastic week with another group of older kids. I love when I get to work with them because I get to teach more in depth things about the gospel and I feel like I can connect a lot better with them. Here are some pics of the week with my Come Now children!

Just waiting for the group to take pictures. Pretty much just freaking love these ladies.

Most talented boys ever! But seriously, they performed together on the guitar/piano/singing at the variety show and made every girl fall in love with them. Not to mention they are just good boys with awesome testimonies! I love them dearly :)

Oh Charlie :) This guy seriously made my week. First day I had to give him a positivity talk, thus influencing one of our group goals to be extra positive for the week! What a fabulous young man though.

Two of the best! Jensen has been a convert for a year and Taylor is her cousin. What amazing girls. Having a mom as a convert I just have this instant love, appreciation, and respect for those who choose to leave the ways of their family and find the truth- especially in their teens! She wrote me probably one of the best notes I have ever received :) And Taylor, well I just love her a whole freaking lot. Haha we both are dating Ryans. These girls were slipping me notes, glowsticks, food, gum, whatever else you can name during lockdown duty Friday night. Haha oh boy. kept me entertained!

What do I even say about these three? Two of the best moments of my week- 1) Just talking to Sierra and becoming her friend on top of just her counselor. Love her probably more than she will ever know. And 2) Singing "Catching Tears" to Madi and Mary as a lullaby one night. The last night they asked for 'The Savior Song' (as they like to call it) for a lullaby, and of course I can't turn that request down. I love these sweet and beautiful girls :)

I love my job. Because I don't even see it as a job.

Love my line of work.

2011-06-28T22:30:00.001-07:00

- Teach the gospel

- Be with teenage girls

- 2 dance parties a week

- Free food

- Making lots of new friends

- Feel the spirit

- Learning from the wonderful youth

- Making memories that will last forever

EFY counselor= my summer. I love it :)

And it is keeping me SUPER busy, thus me never updating this thing for you devoted fans. So I apologize. Just know I'm happy about life.

Dating a really cute boy who puts up with seeing me next to never,

EFY consumes about 6 of my 7 days of the week,

Love my family and that I got to spend all last week with them

(Below is sister Anna after winning the crown of Miss Teen Spanish Fork! So proud of her :)

And the gospel is true!

If you haven't yet today, please smile :)

Truth or Dare? Neither. Wedding Please.

2011-05-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

Adventures of the past week in the life of me:

- Being "mom" while my parents flew back to Ohio to pick up my aunt and bring her out to good old Utah for a month. If my children are as involved as all my siblings... I just might have a break down every day... or just get used to permanently being in the car all day as taxi driver.

- Friday was wedding reception extravaganza!! Ryan, me, and my two little siblings went to two receptions that night. One for my very good friend from BBY, Aubrey. I love her dearly. She and my friend Chelsea are responsible for putting on the "Rebecca Tanner Concert" on the last night of camp last summer. We ate cheesecake and got on our way for reception #2 up in Salt Lake. However, we got there after the bride and groom had left. Who leaves a hour before their reception is supposed to end?! So... we went and visited grandma and grandpa instead :) Ryan met the good people, and after being quizzed, asked if he was going to put a ring on my finger, and meeting the entire Tanner clan via pictures, we headed on our way back home. Love my grandparents. (sometimes though my grandpa whispers to me at a level that ALL can hear)

- Upon returning home, I made our wedding extravaganza party take a picture or many :)

"The Wave". Can't you see it?

- Then we all participated in a fantastic game of Truth or Dare. Pictures below!

- Katie had to draw a face on J's stomach :)

- Katie also had to eat a spoonful of ketchup. Not too bad. Except for someone who hates tomatoes with a very strong passion.

Ryan had to put Katie's sock on his hand until his next turn...

Too bad his next turn didn't come until the end of the game.

- Saturday I played for a wedding reception, and Ryan came to play with me on a few songs. I'm grateful it did not rain on the party, but it could have been a little less windy... However, it was fun :) I love playing for weddings. I actually just love playing in general.

Well peeps, that's all for now! EFY starts in a week! Woot!

Jealous?

2011-05-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

My $5.00 purchase today :)

Sadly... my Zac Efron watch is dead. not able to be fixed. And Walmart no longer sells HSM watches. So Hannah was my next best bet. But I am thrilled! Especially about the guitar charm that is attached!

Happy :)

2011-05-15T16:44:00.000-07:00

So the last time I wrote on this little blog I got in trouble with my friends because I was claiming I had nothing to do on a Friday night.

Well.... since then I have spent every Friday night with a certain individual, and can no longer rejoice in the bittersweet glory/pain of being single... catch my drift? ha. good.

aka- my complaining of Friday nights alone has definitely ceased :)

Besides that, a lot has happened in the past month, and pictures are much better than words!

Ryan and I played in a benefit concert for the SEED program. We make a spectacular team. Fantastic musical plans are in the works people! :)

I got the boy to watch High School Musical 3! And he even wanted to wear my bandana.

We have a brand new addition to the Tanner family! My cousin Matt married this beautiful chica Jessica :) One more girl cousin! You can never have too many!

Little brother and I loving each other while at the temple :)

Very last family party at Uncle Darwin's farm in Cottonwood :(

We will have wonderful memories of that sacred place forever.

LDV end of the year talent show. I sang a spectacular song I wrote about High School Musical. The lyrics are made up of every song title from all 3 movies. Genius. I know!

The following day was our day-tour to Idaho. We had many wonderful opportunities including: singing a a rest home in Montpellier, touring and recording in the Paris Tabernacle, testimony meeting, and performing our fantastic show in Dayton, Idaho. How I love these people, experiences, and everything in between.

While at the rest home I had the sweet experience of going with a music therapist and the other music therapy students in LDV to an older gentleman's room. His family was with him and we learned he would be passing to the other side very shortly. As we sang "Love and Home" and "Families Can Be Together Forever" for him, the spirit filled the room, and I received a witness that this man was not too far from hugging his Father and Savior again.

Families are indeed forever. This gospel is so true and I love it!!

Pretty much my favorite girls on this planet. Seriously though.

They are all there. In that picture.

Best friends love to match :) I love her with all of my soul.

Can I tell you the immense amount of joy I felt being able to dance again?! I will never regret breaking my foot last year because it has taught me lessons I needed at that time, and provided me with experiences I would have otherwise not had. HOWEVER, how I missed dancing! I am so grateful for the talents I've been given, and for the opportunities I have been given to share what I love to do.

(And yes, with heels, I was taller than Kelby.)

So there you have it folks! I'm doing so well. School is out for the summer and I start EFY in 2 weeks!! I am constantly in awe at how different my plan is from Heavenly Fathers, but His is always PERFECT.

I am a happy camper :)

Shout out to Heidi. My one blog fan :) Love you chica.

And so I sit.

2011-04-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

I fail at the game called having a social life.

Don't believe me?

Guess what I am doing at 7:45 on a Friday evening?

That's right. Sitting in my room, blogging.

Some people find it hard to believe that I am NOT a social person.

(Actually, some people include all those I have met being up here at college. If you have known me since high school or before, I realize this is no shocker to you. Actually to be quite honest, if you know the real me at all, you know I love being social, I just don't know how.)

The telephone scares me to death. I get anxiety even thinking about being the initiator and asking someone what they are doing this evening, and if I can join. Reasons A) Because if you really know me, you know I hate to be a burden at all times, all things, and all places. B) Confronting people in any way is terrifying, and even asking through text what someone is doing, is beyond my comfort zone. Also C) I am the most awkward person to talk to on the phone, so I try to avoid that at all costs. I apologize to all who have had to have a conversation with me that way. I am much better in person. Promise.

And so I sit. I have options of things to do, people to do things with.... I just have to be the initiator if I want to participate in said things. And unfortunately, fear always wins the battle.

On the flip side, people rarely ask me to do anything because they think I am the most busy person on the planet. They think I'll say no, so they don't even bother asking.

WELL....

Apparently I'm not too busy if I am sitting alone on a Friday night. ha. I find it quite funny, and quite depressing all at the same time.

Anyway, just needed to get that out. I'm still very happy! I have accepted that this is me!

I did have a wonderful time playing music this evening for a short time, and surely hope it happens again soon :)

I'm going to go write a song now. Or do my homework. I am an exciting individual.

Fighting for Light.

2011-04-06T20:14:00.001-07:00

So.. I am pretty much in love with the song I wrote today.

Seriously.

I think I have played it over ten times already.

We are putting on the first ever song-writing scholarship contest for the music therapy club,

and of course I am submitting something!

Basically, I wrote lyrics last night while I was supposed to be writing article reviews,

and today the music came to me! I don't even care if it wins.

I'm just excited about my new song.

The theme for the contest is "My personal journey through music therapy"

We left it very open so that anyone could enter.

This one did not take very long, that is my style.

In, out, done.

I think I love it so much because I've been needing to compose something that holds my heart and feelings about this amazing work I am a part of.

It is entitled "Fighting for Light"

and the day when it is recorded and copyrighted, I will put it up :)

(I have trust issues with the world and music.. sorry)

Also, yesterday was Tuesday, and that means... it was a great day :) Tuesdays have become quite busy, but they are always wonderful. I begin with my practicum which if I could do the rest of my life, I would seriously be happy. Can I just tell you how wonderful it is to see my clients getting better?!?! It seriously makes me so happy. It is going to take some strength and conscious effort not to be really sad when we do our last session in two weeks. These girls have become so near and dear to my heart. We have seen such improvement in them, and have witnessed pure miracles. I can't put into words how much my heart loves Tuesdays from 8:30-9:20am. They truly inspire me.

Now, off to study climate change! Test on Friday. Sick. But, when its over, life will be glorious :)

Peace out scouts.

The Art of Exceptional Living

2011-03-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

So I've been doing something this past week that the rest of the world might laugh upon since we tend to be an insensitive and judgmental people sometimes. I have been listening to two CD's in my car that I got from my dad. They are entitled, "The Art of Exceptional Living" by Jim Rohn. Seriously, this guy has become my new best friend. You can call them 'self-help' CD's or 'inspirational guidance', but I'm choosing to call them the push I need right now. I get excited to get in my car to drive somewhere because I know that even in five minutes, this guy inspires me to do something more with my life. I have received a lot of ideas just this week of little changes that I can make in my life to make it more meaningful to myself, as well as others. I'm really excited about the future. I just have to be brave!

Just some thoughts from my buddy Jim:

"To attract attractive people, you must be attractive. To attract powerful people, you must be powerful. To attract committed people, you must be committed. Instead of going to work on them, you go to work on yourself.

If you become, you can attract."

The most important question to ask on the job is not "What am I getting?"

The most important question to ask is "What am I becoming?"

Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become.

Goals. There's no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There's no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There's no telling what will happen when you act upon them.

There are two ways to face the future. One way is with apprehension; the other is with anticipation.

You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to an hour.

Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you. Not you.

There are so many more good ones, but this is good for right now. I'm telling you, I wouldn't judge you if you became friends with Jim. I am becoming more inspired, which is dangerous, exciting, and terrifying all at the same time!

Take this heartfelt sorrow, and save it for tomorrow.

2011-03-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

Life is hard. Certain moments are difficult. Performing scary tasks are terrifying.

But it all works out in the end.

Life is not perfect, but I'm seeing past the imperfections and being happy for what I do have.

I have forgiven, and BOY does that feel better!

I have accepted some things, and MAN it makes a difference.

I still am guilty of the "what if's..", "what now's..." and "what then's..."

but I try not to dwell on them.

I still walk around with hope for certain situations, and although the chances of them happening are in the negatives, I can still find excitement in the possibility.

Sometimes your roommate that once slept on the other side of the cardboard wall leaves and gets married.... It is sad. I miss her. But hello, it's happy. It's love. I am grateful I get to exchange worried looks with her every Monday, Wednesday, Friday still in our delightful marriage & family class though. Love her. With all of my being.

So many good things in just the past couple of days.

1) I finished the Book of Mormon. I feel like I can conquer the world now. There is an undenying strength that comes from reading that book all the way through. It took driving up the canyon by myself for a couple hours on Sunday so I could feel the spirit, but it was wonderful. I was taught in Relief Society that if something is not working out, change your situation! I took it to heart, and changed my circumstances Sunday because I knew what I wanted.

2) I love my practicum. I wish this were already my job because I love what I do. There is no other way to say it. This morning, with our direction, our clients wrote a song. And a dang good one at that. Everyone participated. While I was nervous at times because of differing strong opinions, it all turned out. They even want to sing it for all of the staff and they want to record it! It truly was amazing. My professor even told my partner and I that she had never seen a song writing intervention better facilitated. Awesome. I absolutely love it. Love.

3) I had a voice lesson today after about 5 weeks of not having one. It felt so good to sing! I love improving my talents. It brings me more joy than sitting in my climate change class. No brainer.

4) Awesome talk with McKenna yesterday. I just love that girl! We have talks about topics that I can't talk to really anyone about because they just don't understand.

There is so much adversity in my life. It is almost amazing. It is like Satan knows how strong I am and want to become, that he works so dang hard to get at me. Don't worry though, I learned in my 10th grade seminary class that he is a liar and a loser, and I will do my best not to give him the time of day.

This post is so random. Oh well. Just wanted to do a little catch-up..

My favorite line from my clients' song today:

Take this heartfelt sorrow, and save it for tomorrow.

Continuing to smile as my mom always reminds me to do :)

YES.

2011-03-09T16:45:00.000-08:00

On Spring Break!! Woot!

Two greatest accomplishments so far:

1- Learned how to do a stall finally :) Pretend that's me below. (maybe it is...)

2- Wrote a song today for a scholarship competition. Hopefully it's good enough and that not a ton of people enter, because I could really use the money. Just sayin.

That's all for today folks. Things are better. I'm doing better. Remembering to smile :)

What's going on?

2011-03-03T23:16:00.000-08:00

Lots.

Lots and lots.

Stressful things.

Hard things.

Things that make me sad.

Things that make me frustrated.

Refiner's fires are hot.

Really hot.

But you want to know what helps?

Friends.

Friends who listen.

Friends who let you cry for them.

Friends who run after you.

Friends who pray for you.

Friends who hug you.

Friends who help you forget your worries for a little moment.

Friends who tell you it's going to be okay.

And you know what else?

It will get better.

It just has to.

You can only be going down for so long.

Eventually you have to come back up.

So I'm just waiting.

Trying to be patient while the cottage is ripped to pieces.

Trying to be patient while a mansion is being built in its place.

Am I ever grateful for those souls who constantly take care of me.

I will never be able to repay them.

But that is what true friendship is. I am grateful and lucky to have found it.

Things will get better. Because when you have been in the middle of adversity for so long,

you are destined for some greatness.

Or so I believe.

I wish.

2011-02-24T15:05:00.001-08:00

Somedays, like today, I just wish I could already be a music therapist.

I wish I could be friends with my clients.

I wish I could just sit and have a conversation with them one-on-one.

I wish I could take them by the shoulders, look into their eyes, I point blankly tell them how wonderful they are, how beautiful they are, and how much I believe in them.

I wish my clients could see how strong they are.

I wish I could make a difference in their lives, or at least see the difference.

I wish I knew how to better manipulate the medium I've been given to work with. I am learning though.

I wish I knew exactly what to say and which songs to use to really make an impact.

I wish every session we could walk away feeling like we accomplished something. Today was one of those days, and it just feels good.

Mostly, I just want to be graduated already, and working for real.

But until then, I will continue to wish that those remarkable people I work with can gain even a tenth of what I am learning from them.

Today I learned that it is not always about what you say or do. The important thing is creating the atmosphere and opportunity for the clients to be able to answer their own questions and figure out their own feelings. When they succeed, you have succeeded. Because ultimately, we are the ones who change ourselves. We just need someone to listen while we cry.

Music therapy: a business of healing hearts and changing lives.

I'm good.

2011-02-22T17:45:00.000-08:00

: what we tell everyone when we really don't feel like spilling our guts to them at that moment.

I find it so interesting that we are a species who constantly ask, "How are you?" but never really wait for the honest response. We as listeners and askers of this question simply hope to get the response, "good" so we can carry on our merry way without having to engage in conversation with that person. Asking them how they are is really just what we say when we don't know what to say. Saying "Hello" as we pass by them is simply not enough sometimes I guess. Those who truly are invested in wanting to know will wait for the honest response, or ask the question in such a way that you know they sincerely want the truth.

Since I cannot lie to a handful of people, my answers are always honest for them. But for the rest of the world, I will continue to tell you that I am "good" or "ok" when I am really not. Because frankly, as nice as I know you are, we both do not have hours for me to tell you the whole truth. I am too complex of a person for the mere acquaintance to understand my story in that split second of asking "How are you?"

I'm grateful for a loving mom who reminds me to keep smiling while I tell the rest of the world that:

I'm good.

Addiction.

2011-02-18T20:55:00.001-08:00

I will admit it. I am addicted to these:

I simply cannot live without them.

They are responsible for keeping me

-sane during my Marriage & Family class

-awake during Climate Change,

-and both sane & awake during Psych of Music II.

Also, I need them when I make the 2 hr. 15 min. trek home.

Other times include those moments when I have cravings, which is quite often.

If you ever want to make me happy, these will do. I recently purchased a 1.9lb bag of them, and will admit that it was one of the greatest things I have ever done.

All of this is terrible for my tongue and roof of the mouth. oh well.

Welcome February.

2011-02-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

I figured that since I finished one of my reports that is due this week, I can take a few minutes and update this old thing. Today has been a full day my friends, a full day.

I began at 7am, getting ready for my first practicum session at Avalon Hills with my partner. We are working with women 18 years old to late twenties who have eating disorders. We were a little nervous.. but we went, we sang, and we conquered! It was so great my friends. Our hello song went well, we jammed out with the Dixie Chicks, and then they liked my goodbye song I wrote for them. And the best part of it?? We got them to sing with us! We were so nervous last week when nobody sang as our professor led the session. But today we had total participation of playing instruments and singing! It just felt good ya know? We have things to improve on OF COURSE, but overall it went really well, and I am so glad. I know it's only been one session, but I think I'm really going to like this practicum. You cannot put a price on seeing a sista's overjoyed expression at seeing a keyboard even before it is set up, or singing a little Beatles to start the morning, or even teaching a girl three notes on the piano so she can play an entire song. I have said it, and will say it until I die- I am getting myself into the best line of work there is. Music comes second only to the gospel as far as the lasting effect it has in changing lives. (that's in my book of course. I will be an advocate forever.)

The afternoon was spent working on my research project. Basically- I give people anxiety, and have them sit in an awesome custom designed Sound Chair to see of it relaxes them at all. We play a little game of Operation, do a little sight singing, speed math, and dramatic readings. It's a grand time if you were wondering at all. It's a little stressful because I have to present on all my findings in about two weeks at the big Utah Conference on Undergraduate Research, but I'm excited for the opportunity. It's about time I show that I am capable of scholarly things.

Also, let us not forget how FRIGID it was today!! Oh my goodness. If you were outside longer than five seconds you probably would have contracted Hypothermia. Let us remember how much metal is in my foot.... that plus the extreme cold (plus the ridiculous wind making it colder) makes for some aching. But, all is well :) I'm just grateful I didn't have to be outside for too long today. Only speed walking to and from the car. I wonder if Wolverine was ever in pain during the cold times with all of his metal.... something to think about eh?!

Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Wednesdays always are. 7:30am-6:30pm on campus.

Bring it on.

Life is stressful, frustrating, busy, rewarding, and exciting right now.

And I love it.

Peace out scouts.

To you.

2011-01-20T22:30:00.000-08:00

I must express my deepest love and gratitude for this girl here:

It has been far too long since I have seen her beautiful face, and she came back into my life by surprise tonight :) You see, she is married now, which is just something I have to live with. ha.

But there will never be another who will: write such quality lullabies with me, appreciate the position so much of "first to hear Rebecca's new song", make me watch "Madagascar" with her so I can quote it, dance on a snowy freeway with me, or "nourish and strengthen" me when I have a little broken bone.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. ~Anäis Nin

How grateful I am for this answered prayer.

Random thoughts on this night of Dec. 28th

2010-12-28T21:27:00.001-08:00

I figured that I should probably post something on this old thing here finally! Well let's see..

A lot has happened in the last little bit of this semester. To sum it up, this is what I will say-

decisions were made for the better, I am constantly learning SO much about myself, I have some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for, lot's of courage and confidence were exercised, I did not lose a very good friend after all, communication is a wonderful thing, being on the same page is a wonderful thing, 4.0 smiley face, dancing after 6 and 1/2 months of not being able to was the best feeling EVER, I have zero idea of what is going to happen with my life, but I have lots of faith, so I'm not terribly worried.

It is Christmas break for another week and a half, and I have 3 wishes.

I wish to stop being really sick, because I have lots of songs that need to be recorded before I head back up to school. For Christmas, my mom is letting me go to a recording studio to record all of the songs I have written. This is a really exciting step in my dream towards becoming a recording artist, but I need to stop coughing up a lung first! agh.
I really wish that I had time and money to go on a road trip and visit every one of my girls. Little do they know, I think about them every day, and wish that some of them didn't live so far away! As much as they think that I lift them up, they lift me up, and give me reason to continuing to try to be a good example. I sure love them. And miss their faces gosh darn it.
I wish my family and friends were all in the same close proximity. It is wonderful being on a 3 week break from school and being home with the family I love so dearly. However, once the siblings go back to school next week, I will again be home alone during the day, and all my friends scattered far away. I will figure something out though.
I definitely do not wish for the start of the new semester to come any sooner. Breaks from school are a fantastic blessing :)

A girl can wish. SO grateful for my life though. It is turning out to be QUITE the adventure!

Mr. Frost, you say it well.

2010-12-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

At times..

2010-12-01T16:41:00.000-08:00

At times the path ahead seems rough,

At times we only focus on what's tough.

At times the hurt wishes to win,

At times my heart can't let you in.

At times I cannot find the words,

At times it's not about what's heard.

At times I know just what to do,

At times the knowing is difficult too.

At times I write because I cannot say,

At times that is the only way.

At times peace is the greatest friend,

And the peace I feel now, I wish you could comprehend.

Short and Sweet

2010-10-12T13:34:00.001-07:00

I've had about zero time to keep up with this here blog this past month, and it makes me sad because I love blogging! But just know that I am happy, excited and just very content with life :) It's been a little while since I've been able to honestly say that, but it's true now, and I love it. I am certainly being looked out for, and I am beginning to reap the wonderful blessings of over six months of difficult trials and sadness. I have put some things behind me, and I am pushing forward with a little fear, but with more excitement and joy. SO many wonderful things have happened, are happening, and I love it. I love school, I love music therapy, I love LDV, I love my family, I love the gospel, and I love my dear friends.

Alma 33:23 "And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall plant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And THEN may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if you will."

My faith is strong. My joy is full. And I am happy. Finally. :)

Take My Hand.

2010-09-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

I really hesitate putting my original songs on the internet for all to see because I cringe at the thought of someone stealing my stuff. So if you are a stealer, please don't. Something bad might happen to you.. :) I'd be happy to sell you a CD in the near future though!

I wrote this song this summer, and it is probably one of my favorites that I've ever written. But it just fits with my other post below, so I'm going to share it:

Take My Hand

I've been sitting here for far too long,

With my head in my hands, and all hope gone.

To my knees I rise, and bow my head,

Looking for some comfort as the tears shed.

Then a peace so still comes over me,

And I know I am not alone indeed.

To my mind and heart these words did come,

We are never alone, there is always one.

And He says, "Take my hand and follow me

Through forests thick, and across the seas.

I've always been here by your side.

When you've needed me most,

I was carrying you my child."

When the hurt comes and pain sets in,

We tend to forget our love for Him.

We ask, "How could you ever do this to me?

Can't you see me dying here on my knees?

I thought I was strong, and I thought I could fight,

But I can't anymore for you've taken flight."

He comes to gently remind my soul,

Takes away my pain, and makes me whole.

And He says, "Take my hand and follow me

Through forests thick, and across the seas.

I've always been here by your side.

When you've needed me most,

I was carrying you my child."

I've been sitting here for far too long,

With my head in my hands, and all hope gone.

I just need to reach out to His hand strong.

He has promised me He'll never leave me alone.

~Rebecca Tanner (June 23, 2010)

Trusting.

2010-09-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't been on here in a little while, and I can't seem to focus on homework right now, so here I am. And here is my soul. You get it a lot on here.

Life is so interesting. We walk around having a plan for ourselves, a plan for how we think things should work out. Then just at the moment when what we had previously planned should come to be, God decides to interject His own plan for us because He is the ultimate planner, and His plan is perfect. Better then ours. Sometimes though, this is terribly difficult. It is not always easy to see that His plan is actually that, better. We get so caught up in thinking that we have everything planned perfectly, that we forget who really is overseeing our lives. We lose confidence in the fact that everything will actually work out. We lose trust, we lose faith. Why though? We know God loves us and wants the ultimate best for us. Why is it so hard to remember that? Because Satan is so good at his job. And that is a very scary thing.

There are some really difficult things going on right now, and I just cannot shake them. I have not lost my confidence in an all knowing God though, and I just needed to say that somewhere. Because for me, the more I tell myself, the more I start to believe myself. I have been slapped in the face the past 4 days with the concept of trust and having faith in God. Things that I have been looking forward to and planning for quite a while are going SO differently than how I had previously planned, and it is tough. It is hard! But I'm hanging in there because I cannot doubt that my Father loves me and has a better plan for me than I had for myself. I have felt His love WAY too many times to EVER doubt that.

When we put our total trust and confidence in the Lord, He WILL come through for us. The hardest part is saying "Thy will be done Father".

I am merely an instrument in the most talented and perfect hands in this universe. What an honor, what a blessing. And I will trust Him.

The Day Actually Came.

2010-08-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

Today was a very great day :)

A little awkward..

A little nerve wracking..

But, nonetheless, it was a happy day.

He's home. It's kind of weird. To think, I've been waiting two years for this day to come, and it did indeed finally come! It wasn't like those things that never happen! He is indeed alive, well, and still has red hair haha :)

Do you know what this means?

No more Monday pick-me-up emails. haha.

I have to make Mondays great days on my own now!

I don't think that will be too hard.. I have too much to be grateful for.

I just have to say though, being in a cast and on crutches is SO not convenient, but it is totally ok!

It provides for funny and awkward moments. Like when you are trying to get to your van and it is pouring rain outside, and the boy you have waited 2 years to see is on one side, with his mom holding a Victoria's Secret umbrella on the other (she got it for free, so we were not judging ha), both figuring out a way to keep me dry and not slip on the way to the car.

Life is funny, awkward, beautiful, and wonderful.

I love it. :)

sorry, your flight has been delayed.

2010-08-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

I feel a little like a person who knows the date and time of their death.

And can I just say it is not the most exciting feeling?

I just hope i wake up from the knife thursday morning..

There is obviously a reason why the Lord has extended my wonderful journey with this broken foot.. I'm still digging deep to learn and grow.

After I had my own little crying session today on the way home from the doctor's office, I came up with a few positive things I could focus on, and I'm just going to share them with you:

1. I'll be back on crutches, which means stronger arms and abs! Always a plus.

2. Instead of 3 flights of stairs to journey up with crutches to my apartment at school last semester, I will only have to journey up 1 flight this year.

3. When this ordeal is all over, I will be getting new shoes because my right shoes will be trash, while all the left shoes look brand new.

4. At least we are finally doing something about it now, instead of waiting forever to see if it heals on its own

Basically, I just have to remember that the plan is perfect, and that obviously the Lord trusts me enough to give an extension to my fun adventure.

I can do it. Because I can do hard things.

i love seeing them.

2010-08-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

Great things that happened today:

- Drove to Logan. Now almost beginning my fourth year of having this town as my second home, I have grown quite fond of the 2 and a half hour drive.

- Saw Hillary, made me happy. :) We endured her bridal shower, and put together a bunch of her invitations! Sang her some of my new songs, which I have thoroughly missed having the opportunity to do. She used to be the first to hear all of the new songs. love her.

- McKenna wasn't able to make Hill's bridal shower, so I went and visited her at her work instead. Her excitement to see me was totally worth it :) love her.

- On my way home, made a little stop in Brigham City to see my darling Stephanie, and met Ben, her cute little bf. Showed them my baton skills. love her.

Twas a really good day. I quite enjoyed it :)

(minus the awkward bridal shower festivities. i just hate bridal showers all together. always have..)

So I'm a little behind...

2010-08-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to say I haven't had time, because I have.

I've just been filling my time with other things.

Like:

-Making a 1300 picture slideshow/movie for the Tanner reunion at Snowbird this past week.

(That was a TON of work. But, I am proud of what came out, and I'm SO glad it is finished.)

- Learning how to twirl a baton, and joining my mom and siblings in learning a routine for the family reunion. (No joke! Pictures and video to come shortly!) Best new hobby!!

- I was away for a week at yet another wonderful year of BBY- Be the Best You Camp. My girls were amazing yet again this year, and I miss them all dearly. For reasons that I will not list tonight, that camp will always hold a special place in my heart, and each girl that I meet changes my life as I try to influence theirs for good. I love it. The Lord is amazing. Amazing!

- We survived yet another year as a family running the Key Club concession stand at the Spanish Fork Rodeo! I was the master hamburger/hot dog cooker and prepper! I had it all down to a science.

- My foot is still broken. I went in for an MRI and had to keep reminding myself to breathe as I sat in the claustrophobic tube! I needed music therapy! I have a bone stimulator machine for the foot now, and hopefully it is doing something!!

On other notes,

School is beginning here in 3 weeks! Woot! I love school :)

BUT, something else very wonderful happens in 12 days!

So stoked. It really is hard for me to believe that two years has already passed. Tis crazy!

Well.. here are some photos from, camp, because what is life without fun proof that we are living :)

Amazing new friends and fun counselors this week!

My beautiful ladies :)

This lady knew the entire "We're All in This Together" dance, and did it with me! Best day ever.

The ladies lookin pretty for prom!

Our adventure to temple square :)

We found Grandmother Willow!

The very last night I was requested to give a concert for all who wanted to attend. Pretty much it was amazing, and made me want to be a real star.

Love my life, the people in it, and the experiences that make living worth it.

You know who you are.

2010-06-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

Thank you for texting me last night. Your timing could not have been more perfect.

Thank you for calling me today. I have missed you greatly and thought you were forgetting about me. I cannot afford to lose you now.

Thank you for for texting me tonight. You know how much I love you, and I look forward to our conversation tomorrow. Marriage better not take you away from being my best friend.

I'm sorry I tease you so much. It is only because I love you, and love that we have become such amazing friends over the years. I'm proud and excited of what happened to you today. Thanks for always making me laugh.

Thank you for coming back from Arizona. I love spending time with you, and have missed being around you. Love you.

I am positive that we are never taken off of God's radar. We may think it at times, but we are really not. I am grateful for the small tender mercies the Lord provides us with constantly, and the people He puts in our path to make life just that much easier and enjoyable.

A Choice to Be.

2010-06-22T22:25:00.000-07:00

Let me share something about myself.. I am generally a happy and positive person. I try to make the most out of the worst situations, because frankly why waste time whining about something? Whining is annoying, and the human population in general enjoy being around happy people, so why turn into the type of person no one wants to be around? We get so caught up in wishing for more, waiting for tomorrow, and forget to be grateful for today, and what we have. Many say "I'll be happy when...". These folks make me extremely sad. They finally get what they once wished for, only to find out that they 'need' something else, something more. The process keeps going until they find themselves in such a deep hole that they can't get out of. They have forgotten how to be grateful for the little things.

Now, I am not anywhere perfect, nor will I ever be. However, I feel as if I have become quite good at finding the little things to be happy about. Take today for example. As I drove my sister to and from a friend's house, I rode in the '97 chevy malibu. The air conditioning no longer works at all, and it was over 80 degrees outside today. (The car inside could have easily been over 95 degrees). In five minutes, I had drenched myself in sweat just sitting in the car. I was grateful however, that I had a car to drive.

My foot is broken. I am grateful it is not an arm. I can still play my instruments.

I don't have a job. I am grateful I can live at my house this summer for free rent.

I am not near friends. I am grateful I have siblings that want to talk to me.

The process has only become easier to me because I have forced myself to live this way. I am not surrounded by positive people all day long, and thus I need someway to remind myself that happiness is a state of being, it is a choice. We can consciously choose to be happy. There is a lot that I could focus on that is not positive and not happy. I could be a very depressed and miserable individual if I wanted to be. But I don't. I hate being sad. It makes me angry. I love being happy. So I choose to be.

Strong and of a good courage.

2010-06-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a while, and quite a lot has happened.

Now that summer is in full swing.. I am trying to find happiness in the little things as I am still crippled, and have no job really. I love being home with the family this summer, but I miss being around my friends. I miss being in school. I haven't seen my best friends in over a month. sad.

So I am grateful to have spent all last week in a place where I was useful, needed, felt loved, and was able to share love.

What is this I speak of?

The one and only Especially For Youth.

Since I broke my foot, BYU decided to take away three of the four weeks I was supposed to be an EFY counselor this summer. So kind of them. Where is the love? Anyway, I was sitting around home Friday June 11th, and received a text from my friend Brooke saying "Hey, want to come be a counselor next week in Sandy?!" Of course I jumped at the opportunity! I was scared out of my little mind for I have never had ANY affiliation with EFY of any kind, EVER, and now I was to be a counselor. I went though, and had an amazing week! It was a stay at home session, so I crashed at my dear friend Natalie's house in the SLC all week. What a wonderful week. I love being around good youth, teaching and learning the gospel, sharing love, dancing at the fun dances, and just being around happy people. It is like a different world for a week. I miss my girls, new friends, and most of all I miss the environment. But wonderful memories were made, amazing experiences never to be forgotten, and I owe it all to the Lord. For without Him, I would not have accomplished anything this past week.

Just a few highlights:

- Dancing the Hoe Down Throw Down in a boot

- Being chosen as one of 6 counselors to dance the orientation dance.. I had just learned it that morning while everyone else had already done it last week..

- Being in the right time, at the right place a couple times

- Garbage bag ponchos on game day

- Being mistaken for a participant.. by my co-counselor

- Being set up on a date with another counselor by my little participants

- Feeling the spirit extremely strong while 300 youth sing the EFY medley

- Being asked to save a dance for a participant at least 5 hours before the dance

- Singing with Brooke and Natalie for one of the morningsides

- Dinner duty of making sure everyone only took ONE hotdog

- Teaching the gospel to my girls and my company

- Making amazing memories and wonderful friends :)

"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

The best co-counselors I could ask for! I learned so much from them!

Some of my girls and boys :) I love new friends!

It decided to rain on games day, so we got garbage bag ponchos!!

My amazing company!

life is good.

2010-05-06T23:22:00.000-07:00

Finals over. Check.

Bowl of green peppers and ranch. Check.

Cute teddy bear to cuddle with tonight. Check.

Strawberry Lemonade. Check.

In bed, falling asleep to a movie on the ipod. Check.

Sleeping in tomorrow. Check!

Oh what's that? No homework for 4 months?! DONE!

May 1.

2010-05-03T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today is May 3rd yes...but I was a little busy Saturday.

Two years ago, May 1st was a REALLY good day in my life. Really though.

May 2 was also equally great. Aw heck, that whole week was amazing.

(finals-yuck, but we don't focus on that part)

It marked something new, something great, and something to change my life in a way I had not at all planned for myself.

It has been two years since that day.

And I'm still waiting.

Doing it happily and with great anticipation.

(we'll add a little worry and nervousness as well, but don't tell)

I only have less than 4 months left now- crazy crazy my friends! :)

New Plan.

2010-04-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

To keep Satan out of my life (aka to keep the emotions on the more positive side, and stop focusing on how much I hate this),

I have decided to account for the positive things that come from having a broken foot.

I will probably be adding to the list as life carries on the next little while, but I have a few from yesterday and today:

1- Nice people carry you on their backs. Even when they are a girl who is much smaller than you. (McKenna!) Alas, it is a funny experience, which causes you to laugh and smile for a bit.

2- Other kind people bring you your favorite, chocolate ice cream. And also stay to chat with you, because honestly when you are in the situation I have now been put it, I need people to raise my spirits a little.

3- You don't really have to look pretty all the time because people understand. You can wear the same shorts for two days and they will still be your friend.

4- Hobbling around on crutches will in no time cause my arms to be at the level of strength I always desired for them.

5- My right leg is definitely getting it's fill of exercise, and will soon be HUGE with muscle.

6- Hillary Bennett is a kind kind soul to *nourish and strengthen* me, make me dinner, carry me around walmart, take me places, and just be there for me.

7- Wonderful people offer to drive you places. Even though it is your non-driving foot that is broken, they still offer to chauffeur you to school, the store, and choir. Bless their souls.

We will stop at seven tonight, only because I should be working on homework.

I am trying to be positive.

You can't be ungrateful when you're grateful!

Trying to endure it well.

2010-04-18T12:18:00.001-07:00

Story time~

Saturday morning, April 17, I was loving LDV dancers practice. We were learning our last number for our choir tour show that is in two weeks. I was loving today because this last dance was an Irish/highland dancing number. My element. What I do best, and really the only type of dance that I absolutely get pure joy out of doing. We had about 20 minutes left of practice, and I was just excited to be doing Irish that I started doing some of my favorite jumps. Went up in a scissor jump..... came down, my ankle gave out on me, and SNAP.

(at this point I instantly remembered how weak my ankles get after being sprained multiple times in their dancing career. They had been working for 2 1/2 hours and had had it for the day.)

Everyone heard it. I was just praying that it was my ankle doing its normal cracking that it does often, but I knew that something that loud was not good. I got up, it started instantly swelling, and I sat out the rest of practice. As we went to our cars afterward, I could not walk. I somehow knew it was broken. Hill and I got home and I called my mom... "so.. mom... I think I broke my foot..." She called the hospital and got an x-ray order faxed over. (For those who don't know, my mother is my doctor, she's a physician's assistant).

So.. by now I could not walk at all on that foot. It had swelled pretty great, and was bruising. Hill and I ventured to WalMart to hopefully get some crutches. Please just imagine me on her back, carrying me all the way to the pharmacy and out. My trusty store failed me.. and we had to go elsewhere to find crutches. We made our way to the hospital and got my x-rays. The tech told me she couldn't tell me that something was wrong, but instead said, "you might want to come look at my computer screen, from that you'll be able to see." I immediately knew it was broken for sure. So hobbling back, I was shown about 5 pictures that confirmed my worst nightmare. My fifth metatarsal (or the pinky bone that extends the length of my foot) was broken in half.

Now.. for those who know, my Latter-Day Voices concert is in less than two weeks. I was supposed to dance in five numbers. Not only does my foot hurt, but my last chance of dancing with my dancers has been taken away from me now. We have been working for 8 months, and now our concert is two weeks away, and tour three weeks away. My foot will take 6-8 weeks to heal. Why now you might ask? I have been asking the same question. The Lord's will is sometimes very difficult to understand. I have to keep reminding myself that this has happened for a reason.

The next couple of weeks will be an extremely difficult journey as school is ending, projects are needing to be completed, and choir is is full show mood. I think one of the difficult parts is that I am the leader. I am president. My attitude reflects upon the rest of the group. I must now turn away from asking why, and ask instead how can I make this the best experience? I have amazing friends waiting to help at a moment's notice. I think part of this journey will really be teaching me to rely upon others and not be so independent. Trials are mandatory, but misery is optional. I will choose to continue to smile. Just don't be surprised if I cry during such an exciting song as "All for One" from HSM.

Thy will be done. The four hardest words to accept and say.

Wind Blown.

2010-04-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

Today I played my guitar and sang in front of the TSC student center for an hour and a half.

We were advertising for our music therapy forum that is taking play next Tuesday, in which we will educate the public, more specifically students exactly what music therapy is and all about it. I always enjoy playing and singing, especially making new friends (shout out to Nick...who has longer hair than I do...who will never see this... but i feel like we are friends now)...

HOWEVER, I do not enjoy immense amounts of wind coming at me for that long period of time. I played some Coldplay, Taylor Swift, and the Beatles all while battling with hair in my mouth and wind almost blowing me over. It was fun though, and I'm glad I got to just play.

I never liked the wind.

Work? No. Enjoyment.

2010-04-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

If you haven't been convinced yet that I am in the coolest and most interesting major you've ever heard of.... look what I get to do for homework sometimes. (Just FYI, our whole semester was devoted to research, the articles, the abstracts in the articles, designs, etc..)

Like seriously? You really want me to write a rap? Done.

Ab-Stract

So listen up, one and all,

As I tell you about the abstract ball.

Six parts its got to keep it smooth,

Not one out of order would I dare move!

First up, citation, better get it right,

Double check those periods with all of your might.

Next comes the purpose, tell us what it's about.

It don't have to be long, just a little shout out!

The people, the people, let me hear about them.

The subjects now, how many women or men?

Now I want to hear your method, what's your plan of action?

Let's see some variables, the plan of satisfaction.

We're almost done, but gotta know what happened here.

Tell me, tell me some results. Will they bring any cheer?

Lastly the conclusion, Let's wrap this all up.

The abstract in a nutshell, I wish you the best of luck!

word.

dankbar.

2010-04-07T17:31:00.001-07:00

Today was great. I laughed. Very hard. I needed it.

I am also grateful for people who truly understand,

and honestly and sincerely care.

Shout out to the one and only McKenna Lewis.

What would I ever do without you in my life?

Cry. That is what I would do.

Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.

You are truly loved.

gotta go, gotta go.. :)

looking forward.

2010-04-05T16:34:00.001-07:00

As stressful as my life currently is with school, things are good.

The past two weeks have... let's be honest here, not been so happy.

When your institute and choir teacher (who sees you every day, has meetings with you three times a week, and knows everything about your life..well almost everything) tells you he has seen more frowns and less smiles on your face the past two weeks than ever in the past two years he's known you.. something has to be up.

Stress of life. That is all.

Stress of breaking people's hearts, breaking part of your own heart, papers to write, research to do, family to love, choir to serve, music to write, music to learn, money to budget, job to find, emails to write, letters to send, chapters to be read, lives to change... the list goes on.

Things are good though. I am happy. I have not lost a best friend after all (for that I think I am most grateful), I have a supportive and wonderful ldv presidency, I have an amazing and very loving family, I manage to get my homework done (not in the best time, but it gets done), I pray for courage and it comes, General Conference came at a very timely moment in my life this year, ldv is wonderful, and I am just doing great. Stress is always there, but when I choose not to focus on it too long, I'm okay. Looking to the future is scary and terrifying.

My life is destined to change drastically in just over four months- whichever way things happen. And whatever happens, I will continue to look forward, always searching for what's best. But with a smile on my face I will welcome all that life has for me, and what the Lord has in store. For He knows me FAR better than I know myself! And it is so crazy to think about all the different ways, means, and people He continues to put in my life to teach me such lessons. I am grateful.

Even if you are afraid, do it anyway.

2010-03-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

Today I conquered a fear.

I finally spoke with my music history professor.

Not a big deal? You don't understand, and I don't want to take the time to explain.

All you need to know, is that I have a testimony of talking to the professor when you are concerned with your progress in the class. Yes, it has taken me three years of college to really truly know this for myself, but better late than never right! I now have hope of passing the class with a respectable grade, and all of my extra honors contract work will not be in vain.

I am grateful for a quick answer to a prayer for courage.

That is all. Just needed to document this momentous day in my crazy life.

Do not cry because it's over,

2010-03-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

Smile because it happened.

In fact, smile always.

They say that all good things must come to an end eventually. You never really believe it until it happens to you. Then, you try your hardest to see what lessons were learned, and why the experience made you stronger.

Something amazing had to end, for more than one reason. However, what has been reaped, will never be lost. Sometimes, best friends are meant to be no more than that. But the title of a best friend is well respected. Only few can earn the title, and only few have. And those who have, will never be forgotten. Those who have, wish not to be forgotten. So here's to you my friend :) Truly one of kindest, strongest, and most respectful people I know. Thank you, for you have given me what I have needed. And it will never be forgotten. I'm not going anywhere.

Smile because it happened.

SPRING BREAK! Woo! Go Crazy!!

2010-03-19T11:11:00.001-07:00

Well, I finally did it! I went somewhere and did something FUN for spring break for the first time in three years of being in college!! Hooray for me. A bunch of us from Latter-Day Voices ended up going down to St. George area and just partied it up! A big thanks to Kyle for letting us stay at his amazing house in La Verkin! Here is a little look-see into the wonders of the trip:

Saturday:

AKA- worst day to drive south. Haha We definitely drove through the terrible snow storm, taking us 6 instead of 4 hours to arrive at our destination! Was it an adventure? You better believe it! Had I been driving by myself I would have probably been scared out of my mind, but luckily I had Hillary and Becca Roberts in the car with me to keep me a little sane. Well, six hours in a car can make you a little crazy... as evidenced by us starting to imagine that the snowflakes coming on the windshield wore stretchy pants, and all spoke different languages because they had come from all over! ("Sprechen sie Deutsch?" "I Sprechen!" *deet deet deet deet* ) Don't judge. We also had a grand time pulling off the road every so often to scrape the ice off the windshield wipers!

The highlight of the drive though, was what occurred during the twenty minutes traffic was stopped on the freeway because of snow. They closed the freeway for a while, luckily we only caught the last little bit. The car was turned off, music on, and we definitely had a legit dance party right there on the freeway!! Now who can say you've done that?! Poker Face and all! Can-can, moonwalk, freak dancing, you name it. We also walked over to our neighbor car and had a chat with them and their puppy. Haha best thing ever. Oh and after we got moving again, Hill decided she needed to do sit-ups in the front seat. Not even abnormal if you were wondering.

We finally arrived at Kyle's house, rolled around on the carpet, had a cereal party, just happy to not be in the car anymore!

Sunday:

We got up and went to stake conference, it was a bit windy outside just to add. We came back and had a most delightful and amazing lunch! So much food, and it tasted like heaven :) After we all ate, we had a Book of Mormon reading party for a while. We have been reading it as a choir, and are trying to finish the whole thing before we leave in May (90 day challenge). A lot of us had a lot of catching up to do, so we just read and read! Also we had a massage and relaxing music party. That was fun! Later that night we went around Kyle's ward and sang to a couple of the widows. That was a really neat experience, and I'm really glad we got to do some service.

Monday:
Party in Zion's! Went hiking pretty much all day! Pictures say more than words :)
After hiking, we came back, celebrated Kelby's and Kyle's birthdays and then had a hot tub party complete with *truth or dare* haha.

As to not get our pants wet or dirty on the bottom, we decided to cuff our pants.

Turns out, we were not the only two who had a cuffing party!

I love them a whole lot!!

Yes, their cake has their faces on it. I love it.

Tuesday:

Last day for Hillary, Kelby, and I as we had to be back Wednesday for work and homework, hooray. This day was our four-wheeling adventure! Only the second time ever being on four-wheelers, and SO much better than the first time!! It was a blast, we got way sunburned, hot dogs and smores over a fire, just fun adventures :)

Came back, pool party and BBQ! What a wonderful couple of days! So grateful for some of the best friends ever!!

And Another One Bites the Dust!

2010-03-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened again. Another one of my best friends from high school is getting married! And I'm so happy and excited for her :) Lizzie's bridal shower was last Friday, when my LDV friends and I were supposed to leave for St. George for our Spring Break trip. However, I really wanted to see all of my girls again, so I ended up leaving Saturday.

Anyway, Friday was great as I got to see all of these girls again, and we chatted about life and it was so good. :) I got to play a couple of my songs for them and I was grateful for that, as that is a huge part of my life now, and I wanted them to know about it! Oh and Brittany made amazing eclair cake that I just kept eating, probably not good, but I loved it! :)

I'm still holding out to be the last of them all to say "I Do"! HA!

Passing of the torch-

2010-03-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday March 6, 2010 marked the end of my reigning as Spanish Fork City's First Attendant in the Miss Spanish Fork Royalty. It's crazy that it's already been a year! The summer was filled with about 12 parades, and Fiesta Days was probably my favorite part of the job! The night of the pageant I got to crown the new 1st and 3rd attendants, and Becca Terry ended up being crowed the new Miss SF, which I'm so happy about! She will be amazing :)

Here's to $2000 and being done with year of royalty!

It is confirmed.

2010-03-18T16:22:00.000-07:00

I am the worst blogger in the world. oh well. It's because I have a crazy life and have zero time to actually document that I'm living. But alas, I am! Many posts to come as I wish to share some of my good and crazy life again..

I Cannot Do Without

2010-02-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

As always, posting on here means that I'm procrastinating something.

However, it is always healthy to take a break.

So....

This is a short list of items I cannot do without this semester:

- Peanut Butter Captain Crunch Cereal

- Chocolate ice cream

- My trusty and well loved planner

- Post- It notes

- Lay's Stax

- My rainbow of gel Pilot Pens

- Stride gum- (sweet peppermint flavor to be exact)

- HSM water bottle (filled with H20 of course)

- Purple cut-off hobo gloves

- Guitar

- Sweat Pea lotion

- A well loved brown hat

- My Aggies sweatshirt

- The Book of Mormon

- My Robin's Eggs blue coat

- Slippers

Ok that was fun, now back to StATS!! sick.

I'm still here--

2010-02-01T19:59:00.000-08:00

Just livin a crazy busy life! And only have time to write this because I'm procrastinating homework! ha! Statistics is kicking my butt, as well as psychology of music, in which my professor decided to make my personal research project the class project! Ah! SO much homework all the time! but I'm alive and well! Just livin. and laughing. and crying. and smiling. and sleeping (oh wait, i don't really do that..). Life is good. smile always. even when you don't want to.

Wunderbar

2009-12-23T01:28:00.001-08:00

Tonight was a good night. I finally got to play with two of my girls from BBY camp Kenzie and Christi. I love them mucho. We ate food, chatted, told stories, hated on jerk boys, Targeted it up, Red Boxed it up, and chatted some more. It was just a great night, and I had to write it here on this my blog. yes. I have missed their faces, and it was very good to see them and talk.

You hear that? I love you gosh dang it.

We're giving love in a family dose!

2009-12-13T20:12:00.001-08:00

I love to see...

2009-12-13T19:49:00.000-08:00

The temple... but sometimes we get there late and they have already turned all the temple square lights off AND locked the gates. sad day :(

We still took pictures though! Because we could!

Mad at the locked gates.. it's ok Taylor...

The clan!

Don't you dare try to kiss me!

Great story about the Christmas tree...

We were quite saddened by the locked gates and no lights, so as we started walking back to our cars, we walked passed the conference center (which had their lights off already too. 10pm on a weekend! sheesh.) Anyway, we saw this beautiful tree through the window, and knocked on the door. The very nice cleaning man said we could take a quick picture, and he hurried us in and out of that conference center in about two minutes flat. Bless the rebel conference cleaning man :)

Special....

2009-12-13T19:23:00.001-08:00

When you have to wait in the car for a while..

you entertain yourselves...

Just accept us.

Oh hey, no I didn't die..

2009-12-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

Now that the semesters is officially OVER and I don't have to be in class for a whole MONTH, it is time to share some pictures from the past little while.

Because let's be honest..i just didn't have time until now.

A. Who had tickets to the 2:30 AM showing of "New Moon"??? WE DID!!

Just waiting in line in the freezing cold forever. Good thing we had a deck of cards!

B. Finally attending a home football game this year. Again. It was freezing. But then again, when is it not freezing in the town of Logan?

C. Home for Thanksgiving and what do I get to be in?

The annual Spanish Fork Light Parade of course!

Katie got to walk in the parade as well :)

Kenzie loves this video:

2009-11-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

Personally, I laugh every time because she loves it SO much!

Oh BBY camp. Good times. Good times.

I found this one too...

2009-11-10T17:16:00.001-08:00

They are crazy!

If you love a little Miley in your life...

2009-11-05T09:48:00.000-08:00

You will appreciate this:

(maybe... I just love to watch it because it makes me smile. and chuckle. :))

For those who are confused: This is from BBY camp this summer. I forgot I had it, found it, and wanted to share it. There you go!

Excited :)

2009-10-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

So, I just have to say that quite possibly my favorite class this semester is my Music Therapy and the Exceptional Child class. My professor is the music therapist at Primary Children's hospital, and is currently doing what is my dream- giving hope and motivation to the children at the hospital. My teacher has so much knowledge, and I feel privileged to be taking a class from her. Class each week is 3 hours long, but that 3 hours is packed with so much learning, it's insane!

Today's class though- wow. Let's just say that if I wasn't sold on music therapy before today, I'm sold now, and I'm definitely going to do all I can to make it through, just to have similar experiences to those shared today. I had tears in my eyes at the end of class today. I want to be a music therapist and give hope to the children and youth SO BAD!

I'm in the perfect major for me.

I'm so excited about the future. :)

I love wasting time.

2009-10-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

I do. I love it. I'm a pro at it.

And I think I found a new hobby~

Life is good.

2009-10-13T14:45:00.001-07:00

It is stressful sometimes. BUT It is also funny.

It is depressing sometimes. BUT It is also filled with happiness.

It is frustrating sometimes. BUT is also rewarding.

It is hard sometimes. BUT It is also wonderful.

I realized today that I am in a major where I have the wonderful opportunity of witnessing lives changing first hand. Not a lot of people have that opportunity. I don't take enough time to think about why I really decided to pursue music therapy.

I love helping people, I love music, and I want to change lives more than anything else.

Sometimes I forget, and like today,

I just needed a 15 yr. old boy with multiple disabilities to remind me why i do what i do.

Life is good when you remember.

Just a celebration of LOVE!

2009-10-13T11:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday was my cousin Melissa's wedding. The wedding of the century if you will. It was beautiful, and amazing, and just a darn good party I must say! SO much yellow everywhere, but hey, it was her day. And my day will come. Someday.. but for now, let's look back at that party!

My Beautiful Canyon

2009-10-02T21:52:00.000-07:00

It is sporting a two-season look currently :)

Alright Team!

2009-10-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

Here we go!

September was crazy. Insane if you will.

In the first month of school, I realized that this semester of Fall 09 could be described as: extremely busy, tiring, draining, long, never ending homework, full of reading, full of writing papers, zero time for social life, but also- humbling, rewarding, and plain wonderful.

Latter-Day Voices has certainly been amazing. You know, I really don't know where I would be without it..I don't want to know! Some of my closest friends are in ldv, and are just plain wonderful people! Being a vice president is work. 7am meetings are definitely not my ideal time! But we also accomplish so much in them, and I'm extremely grateful for this calling. The third weekend of Sept. we had our retreat up at Bear Lake, and it was a blast. Lip-Synching the night away, kissing rugby, huge girl sleepover in one room, bonding on the lake, and spiritual feeding the next morning is the way to go!

Dear September,

2009-09-29T21:49:00.001-07:00

You have been quite frankly the LONGEST month of my existence!

I feel like I've been in school for longer than a month. Sheesh.

As evidenced by zero posts this month... you simply provided me with zero time for anything but homework. Tomorrow is my last day of you though, HOO RAH! I will however document you in due time, as you did hold some good moments. Until then, let's have a great last day tomorrow!

Yours sincerely,

Rebecca Marie

every now and then...

2009-09-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

I wish I wasn't involved in so many things.

I have breakdowns because I get so stressed out.

I look at pictures and wish that they moved like in Harry Potter’s world.

I wish it was already September of 2010.

I lose my voice singing in my car on the long drive home.

I meet people who have NO idea how great an impact they’ve had on my life.

I write great songs in a matter of minutes and wonder how it happened.

I wish I could apparate- I would go a lot of places. See a lot of people I miss and love.

I wonder why I was so blessed with the talents I have,

but then I’m quickly reminded that they are not for me.

I wonder why I have such a great capacity to see the good in people, and refuse to see the bad. And then I don’t question, I’m merely an obedient instrument.

I fall asleep to watching chick flicks on my ipod, because they make me happy.

I just drive in my car with the windows down, no music, and just think about life.

I review all the dances to HSM in my car so I never forget them!

Love seems so close, but is still so far away.

Two or three words from the right person make me instantly happy.

I wish I never had a facebook. I waste too much time on it every day.

I’m grateful for facebook. It keeps me in contact with so many people.

I go to call a friend, then don’t because I’m scared of talking on the phone.

I read saved texts on my phone.

I think I can dance, and so I do, in my kitchen while no one is watching.

I play the stupid demo of tetris on my phone several times when I’m bored.

I wish I could change people’s lives for them. Then I remember I don’t have that power.

I become friends with people I wish I had known my whole life.

I worry too much about my friend's lives.

My mom still reminds me to practice the piano.

I wish days had more than 24 hours.

I call my dad at midnight to ask him about recipes.

I dream really big.

I realize how weird I am, and laugh at myself.

Every now and then… I actually stop and reflect. and it’s wonderful.

Learning. (a very long post about it)

2009-08-31T07:40:00.000-07:00

So... its been an exhausting weekend to say the least. That does NOT mean however that it was bad, it was wonderful. Thursday through Saturday were auditions for my amazing institute choir Latter-Day Voices. And since I am the VP in the presidency this year, I had to be at auditions listening as much as humanly possible. 8 am straight through to 10 pm every day. exhausting. By the end of the day each day we were all getting a little weird and less and less coherent.."punchy" is what Bro. Salmond called us. haha.

It was a great learning experience for me though. There are SO many talented people out there. But one of the questions we asked in each audition, and something I had hundreds of auditions to ponder about in, was - why do musicians have such a hard time staying humble? Talent, more often than not sadly, is accompanied by cockiness. It is hard finding a balance in being confident rather than cocky. Take it from someone who knows they have been exceedingly blessed, and is striving to use her talents for the good of all mankind. Musicians, (and I'm sure lots of other people too, but we're focusing on them right now) sometimes forget that the Lord gave them their talent. They love to think that they have become great because of their own work. It is truly sad when they cannot recognize the hand of God in their lives.

Through another quite recent experience with a friend, I have also been learning more about the fact that we all have our own free agency. And sometimes it's not the best thing in the world for us! Like it or not, we don't always know what's best for ourselves! We think we do, and we get into trouble. Or we let Satan in and start to destroy us and everything we have been taught. The only person who truly knows us and knows our capabilities and potential is our Heavenly Father. He puts people in our path though that are somewhat more in tune than us, to help guide us through the rocky road of life. I know I certainly have had a few quite important role models in my life that I'm forever grateful for. And in turn, I am striving to be the best example I can be. To love one another and bear their burdens is a commandment. It's not an option. However, for me, it's just part of my nature, and I somehow HAVE to love and help everyone!

That was long, and nobody really even reads my blog haha but it's a great place to leave some thoughts. :)

Latter Day Voices starts today and I'M STOKED!!!!!!! :D

SCHOOL!!

2009-08-24T16:24:00.000-07:00

Top 10 reasons why I am stoked school has started! (In no particular order..)

1. I'm back in the same place as all my wonderful friends.

2. Chances to make new friends and meet new people.

3. I love Utah State!!!

4. I can smell the new experiences and adventures!

5. Latter Day Voices :)

6. Basketball and football games await!

7. I have grrreat roommates!

8. No more sitting around being bored

9. Dance Parties!

10. I really do enjoy learning..

I love my school. It makes me happy. :)

Just FYI: It's Been 365 Days :)

2009-08-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

And he's doing great!! :) Serving the Lord and loving it.

I made it this far.. we're half way done!

(Thank goodness for Monday emails!)

1st Week of August..

2009-08-12T23:30:00.001-07:00

will always and forever be Tanner week at Snowbird!! 50 plus Tanners all in the Iron Blossom Lodge at Snowbird should be enough to drive you crazy for a week, but we love it. And it's a good thing we love each other and are friends or it would be miserable!

One great adventure this year was the talent show in the Wildflower lounge on the open third floor. So YES, the whole lodge heard a little "Hoedown Throwdown", a little white boy rappin, some violins, some monologues, and just good Tanner talent! A picture says a thousand words,

so here's a few thouz for ya..

Wonderful..

2009-08-12T23:06:00.000-07:00

is what the weekend after babysitting was. I went with my high school friends to Gillian's wedding reception, and she was beautiful!! It was such a cute wedding! :) This was the first I had been to of my best friends from high school. Not gonna lie, its kind of weird to think that my friends are getting married, starting a new chapter in their lives...hm. I'm happy for them :) Some day...

Then saturday I was given the opportunity to sing at "A Sugar Free Cure" which was a fundraiser for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. It was put on by the daughter of my head counselor from BBY camp this year. Such a cute girl. Anyway, they had me sing, and I loved having three of my girls from camp come and see me! I sure love them and they know it! Kenzie even made me some special watermelon shaped cookies. They were great!

we tried very hard to get this picture..

Catching Up..

2009-08-12T22:56:00.000-07:00

So I discovered I'm not so great about keeping a blog, and...need to play a little catch up with a few posts! The last week of July I babysat for three cute neighbors of mine everyday while their mom was in Texas and dad at work. They are great kids! I... however, discovered that I am SO no ready to have children of my own, and props to EVERYONE who has nannied for longer than a week! 3 yr. old little Tait did me in I think. As cute as he can be sometimes, he did have his moments! However, I made it through, and was so grateful for the opportunity to earn a little extra money before heading back to Logan.

Hometown Pride

2009-07-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

This week is quite possibly the most celebrated week all year in the town of Spanish Fork. Welcome to Fiesta Days! And this year, as 1st attendant in the Miss SF royalty, I'm required to be at every activity, crown, sash, and smile. From judging the children's parade, to dancing in the street, I have never participated in Fiesta Days more than this year. We even sat in the heat, sweating buckets for two hours in attendance at the re-dedication of the pioneer cemetery.

Now that is love for your home. Proud to be a spanish forkian yes i am!

Oh and let's not look over the fact that every night at the rodeo i come as a pageant girl, sing the national anthem, then run put my work clothes on and cook hot dogs for people! :) tis great.

oh hey brother

my favorite part of the rodeo right here:

'Born To Be Great'

2009-07-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

So last week I was a counselor for the second year at at camp called "Be The Best You". (BBY if you will) This camp is truly amazing for everyone involved. The camp is gospel oriented, focused on helping the girls realize they are daughters of a loving Heavenly Father. They are involved in service projects everyday as well as listening to amazing speakers. No worries, we have plenty of fun with a dance and american idol! I was a counselor over ten 16 yr. old girls, and let me tell you it was so much fun!!! Let's not lie, I was a little frightened to go from 12 yr. olds last year to 16 yr. olds this year, but I had no need to worry, my group was amazing. Truly great and beautiful girls. Let's have a little look see at some of the fun shall we?!

Kenzie and Conner with little Sammy from the Boys & Girls Club

I sure love them.

Special needs princess party

King of the day at the care center

Teaching Barbara some killer moves!

We love the dance!

*click*

woot

2009-07-21T14:30:00.000-07:00

So...i have a blog now. shout hooray everyone!